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A relationship built over weeks, not in a single day
You meet someone on a dating site or on social media. They're polite, interested in your life, ask about your everyday routine, remember details from earlier conversations. Over time you exchange photos, sometimes short voice messages. Everything feels natural and genuine.
It's exactly this slow pace that makes this type of scam so hard to recognise. Unlike urgent requests for money, a romance scam builds a real emotional bond before any financial demand ever appears.
How AI changes the scale of this scam
In the past, one scammer could run only a handful of such relationships at once, which limited the scale of the problem. Today, AI tools can generate personalised messages, and even synthetic photos and short voice clips, meaning one person | or an organised group | can run dozens of such relationships simultaneously, each tailored to a specific victim.
Signals that appear before the request for money
- The person avoids live video calls, blaming technical problems or working abroad
- They gradually encourage you to reduce contact with family or friends
- They tell dramatic life stories designed to trigger sympathy
- The relationship develops emotionally very quickly, despite never having met in person
Why the request for money always comes last
Once the emotional bond is already built, a request for money | for a plane ticket, sudden medical treatment, or customs duty on a "gift" | feels like a natural part of a close relationship rather than a suspicious demand from a stranger. That's exactly why it's so hard to say no at that point, even when doubts appear.
What to do to protect yourself
- Before sending any money, talk about the relationship with someone close to you outside of it
- Ask for a live video call, not a pre-recorded one | a real person will agree to this
- Search their photos on an image search engine to see if they appear elsewhere under a different name
- Remember that a genuine feeling never requires you to keep the relationship secret from loved ones
How we practise this in the ODYSSEY course
In the "Recognise the scam" module you'll find a simulation of exactly this situation | you practise recognising isolation from family and appeals to sympathy, and build the habit of talking to a loved one before every payment.